Two is better than one

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
"Hey, you know, this could be something"
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing

That maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"

Maybe it's true
That I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you thought that it got me coming undone

And I'm thinking
I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

Silent night. Parents asleep. I've decided to write a post in the blog while listening this song repeating. Almost crying but don't know why. I've stop it. No ones chat with me during this time. Everyone is sleeping. I'm alone and lonely again. Many problems I'm facing. I don't know what are the problems. I don't know what am I thinking of. Just feel annoyed on everything I'm facing. When is it begin and when will it finish and end? There are a lot of dark surrounding me, and no more light. Maybe, I'm just want to make the feel more true and real. And maybe it is not as serious as what I think.

I'm easily get angry because of someone these 2 days. He is just a normal friend of me. I get mad is just because he simply scold his friend. I knew that they are joking. But, why?.. Why I get angry of this? I replied him :"Can you shut your mouth up?".. After that he wouldn't talk with me at all. I keep hide my feel and hope that he would not know it. But I don't know why he will know that I'm angry. I explained that I'm not angry to him. Just because he said his friend is selfish. I knew they're joking. I knew that. But why? I don't like it. I hate it. I hate this feel. He had message me since yesterday I angry because of other case. He said :"Scold me, scold me what you want but please don't mad about me. You're precious than everything for me. I'm sooo sorry.".. He is good, kind. I take him as good brother. But always, I felt that he is using me. I don't know what have I done to make him feels want to use me. It's just a self thinking. I hope that he is not and he must not! Before this, I love him a lot. I mean love him as a good friend, good brother. But because of my exam, he changed a lot. He never shares his problems with anymore. He would not reply my messages and just answer me his phone is out of credit. I believed him. But it is keep repeating. I'm getting sick of it soon. He never takes me as good friend anymore. And I think I can handle this by time. I don't like this kind of friend, this kind of feeling. But I feel that I can't lost this friend. Previously good friend, and now become speechless friend. Everyone is like that. I'm preparing to lose more friends after I've graduated. We can't having happy moments and memories like last time anymore. We are growing up and we've destined to lose many things while we're growing. And... I'm preparing to face it.

Today.. No, I mean yesterday, my friend ask me, why she will hates someone for a long time? I don't know what is the answer. Because everyone have different thinking. Maybe she is just normally and obviously hates him because of his patterns. She said that she will forget this stupid fellow before 2010 reach. But even that, she still asking me why she hates him? I can't confirm that she likes him. I'm just... don't know how to say the feeling. Maybe here is more suitable for me to answer the question.

I hate someone very much before. All of the friends don't know who I'm hating. But I'm finally forgive myself, and ask myself not to hate him anymore. Hate is really suffer. It causes me can't sleep easily. Hopes that he will back to you, but it is impossible. Although there are some happy past tense between he and me, but I've successful forgot about him, everything! It waste my 3 years times. It cause my 3 years to recover. It's hurt but what we need is time. A failure love could be transform to a successful hate. And I'm the prove. I've do something stupid so I make myself suffer for a few years. No one understand it. It's hopeless when I don't have a suitable target to let me state all my feels. There are a lot of best friends beside me, but I can't. I can't tell them about it. It's a shame.

Hate, actually is a prove that you care about him, mind about him. No matter you're care because of hate or love. It's prove that you couldn't lost him in your life. Without him, maybe you will lose your impetus to do something. Or maybe, you've did something since the day he appears, you hate him. We can't control ourselves not to think him. It's out of control. And finally, we knew that he is important. No matter hate, love, friend, or enemy.

My friend, Wah, told me his history. He says that he likes me since the day he chat with me. Because he think that I'm suitable to hear all his story. I'm cold to him actually. Everyday, he online and says :" Jxjx".
And my answer :" ? ".
He replied :" I love you" and
I replied :" = ="..
This is the words and sentences both of us repeating everyday. He knew that I won't like him. But he is still continue his effort. I don't know why he wants to do so? I never meet him although he is just live nearby. I not really like to meet someone that I knew in web, no matter he or she is bad or good. He says he will do everything because of me. He has a lot of characters in maple Cassophia server with almost every character is over 150 levels. But he gave up and change to Bootes because of me. I told him, advise him not to do so. But finally he did it too. Since the day, I didn't play maple anymore.

Another, he knew that I like to play XDO. He quickly downloaded and hopes to play with me. I knew that he don't like that game. But he plays with me when he knew I online. So, when I'm playing, I always told him that I'm not playing, I don't want him to waste his time because of me. It is crazy. I don't like someone did something that he/she don't like because of me. He is really a kind person. But I don't think I will like him. Everyday he works until 12a.m.+ only reach home and he will continue his work everyday on 8 a.m. He is very tired. But he don't want sleep. Just because of want to accompany me. I knew he is good. But...

I'm still remember the night.. I online at 2 a.m.. Wah asked me to download XDO. Since he hopes to play with me, finally I downloaded it. And I online at the midnight to download it. He just accompany me to online until 4 a.m although he had to work at 8 a.m. Even though I asked him rest, he would never listen to me because he wants to accompany me.

And last week, he told me his history. He believed me and told me about it. He is really a good and kind guy. And I appreciate him a lot as a friend. He shares a lot to me. But finally my respond is cold. I don't hope to treat him like that. But I've to. I don't want he to waste his time on me anymore. No matter it is true or fake. He should find a better girl but not me. I'm suck and no suitable to be anyone's partner. So, don't even think that there are chances. I don't want anyone get hurts because of me anymore.

I'm getting mad soon..

I think I'm.

I guess I'm.